Graphite & Gunpowder
by shrineofyourlies
Summary: Catherine Bennet has spent her life as just another Bennet daughter or the shadow of her younger sister. After the marriage of her youngest sister Kitty must figure out her own path.


It is a truth universally acknowledged that in a family of five daughters at least one daughter will be overlooked. The Bennets are no exception to this rule and this distinction fell to the lot of Catherine Bennet, better known as "Kitty". As the fourth Bennett daughter she was never deemed of much importance. Jane, the eldest Bennett, was considered the most beautiful of the girls; her serene nature and awe inspiring looks gained her much attention. Elizabeth, the second eldest, held the position of their father's favorite and was deemed the cleverest. Third eldest Mary may be the plainest of the five girl's, however her ardent study of music and religion had led Mrs. Bennet to boast that she was the most accomplished girl in Hertfordshire.. Lydia, the youngest, was the favorite of their mother and her lively, flirtatious ways gained her much attention. Kitty was merely another daughter and no one assigned her any traits of note other than that of Lydia Bennet's shadow.

Over the years Kitty found herself a bystander to her sister's misfortunes and triumphs, while never having the sorrow or pleasure of her own. When she was younger and on the cusp of womanhood she had followed Jane and Lizzie everywhere, desperately wanting to be a part of their confidences and conversation. However, Jane and Elizabeth were thick as thieves and quite oblivious to their little sister's admiration. While they showed the appropriate amount of kindness expected towards a younger sister, they did not attempt to further a connection with Kitty or include her. Mary preferred Fordyce's Sermons to the company of her sisters, often chastising Kitty for the slightest thing. It is no wonder that Kitty gravitated towards the boisterous Lydia, as she seemed to be the only sister to give Kitty any attention.

Lydia Bennet cared more for her own pleasure than the comfort of her sisters. As the youngest she was spoiled and indulged. Kitty learned that to garner any attention from her mother she needed to emulate Lydia and defer to her in near all things. On the rare occasion Kitty disagreed with Lydia or protested such treatment she was overruled by her mother. More often than not Lydia would take what was not hers and if Kitty complained the issue was taken to Mrs. Bennet who would then rule in Lydia's favor. It is no surprise that jealousy began to fester and as a result Catherine became petulant.

The case of Catherine Bennet prior to the marriage of three of her sister's is a sad one. Kitty was the third prettiest of her sisters and cleverer than many supposed. She had talent, but a lack of encouragement had resulted in it's suppression. Kitty's desperate want of attention had lead her astray and in doing so resulted in a reputation for being ill tempered, idle, and ignorant. Luckily for Kitty she was still young and the marriages of her sisters provided her the great opportunity to improve herself.

 _ **Longbourne, October 12**_

 _ **In which Mrs. Bennet Learns of Elizabeth's Engagement**_

"Engaged to !" shrieked Mrs. Bennett. Her excitement was so pronounced that everyone in the house could hear her cries of delight. The two younger Bennett sisters gasped in shocked delight at their father's announcement.

"Congratulations Lizzy, " said Mary. She was happy for her sister. Mr. Darcy was severe, but he was an upstanding gentleman. Mary noticed things others did not and had perceived Mr. Darcy's attraction to her sister long ago. She hadn't mentioned it at the time for she frankly didn't care all that much and no one would've credited it anyway.

"Oh Lizzy, " gushed Kitty "How exciting! Can I be a bridesmaid? I know you prefer Jane, but she shall be married before you so she can't do it. It would be so wonderful to be a bridesmaid. Lydia never got to be one." Kitty relished the opportunity to have something to crow over to Lydia. _That will teach her to boast over being the first married_.

"Oh, Kitty, if you can promise not to crow too much you and Mary may stand up with me." Lizzy said with a laugh. Kitty wouldn't make any promises. It was Lydia's fault Kitty had been denied assemblies and their father had denied her walks into Meryton. It was unfair, but there was nothing to do for it.

"Oh, my dear girl" Mrs. Bennet wailed, shoving Kitty out of the way to get to Elizabeth. She affectionately put both hands to Lizzy's cheeks as she smiled and cried happy tears. "Oh, such a good match and you shall be so rich. Oh, Mr. Bennet, girls we are truly saved!"

Mrs. Bennet's excitement was so great she forgot propriety and seemed determined to go visit all her neighbor's to tell them of Lizzy's good fortune. It was only through the joint efforts of Jane and Elizabeth that she did not.

"Mama, it is still too early to make calls. Let us break our fast and discuss wedding plans, we may visit our neighbors later."said Elizabeth.

A mention of the wedding breakfast distracted Mrs. Bennet and she was soon calling for Hill and temporarily forgot her determination to go boast to Lacy Lucas about another daughter to be advantageously married.

* * *

By the time dinner was served Kitty was exhausted. Mrs. Bennet had dragged them along to each of her calls, determined that everyone know of Lizzy's engagement. Kitty was happy to visit the Lucas's as she was able to impart to Mariah her news of standing up in the wedding. However, the calls grew tedious as the went to at least half of the four and twenty families that resided in Heartfordshire. Her mother's frantic need to visit everyone left them no time to shop in Meryton, much to Kitty's displeasure. She had hoped to slip off to purchase some art supplies while Mama spoke to Aunt Phillips, but there was no opportunity. Perhaps she could convince Mary to walk into Meryton with her tomorrow.

Kitty was fond of drawing, not that anyone in the family knew it. She had discovered her joy in the art when Lydia once came up with the scheme for them to become accomplished artists. They had gathered pencil and paper and went to draw in the gardens, determined to sketch beautiful flowers. Perhaps they could convince Papa to get masters to teach them! However, it was not long into this venture that Lydia threw aside her art supplies and declared herself bored.

"Who wants to draw anyway? I think it's one of those talents for plain girls. They have to make up for their homely looks somehow. " Lydia huffed frustrated. "I don't have the time and you're no good at it anyway Kitty." she declared, grabbing Kitty's drawing and crumbling it up. "Let's go into Meryton and look for ribbon."

Since that day Kitty dared not let Lydia know that she enjoyed drawing, nor to ask for a tutor to come to the house. She knew to acknowledge her enjoyment of the activity would invite Lydia's criticism and in turn their mother's disinclination to get a tutor for it anyway. Lydia always took what was Kitty's and she couldn't bare it if Lydia took drawing away from her too. Instead she indulged in sketching in secret, often in the early morning before Lydia rose.

To keep her secret Kitty would often sneak off to the shop to replenish her supplies while Lydia was flirting with . Kitty felt a twinge of guilt that her love of drawing may have contributed to aiding Lydia and Wickham's affections and lead to their eventual planned elopement. At the time Kitty had been naive and foolish, just like Lydia and didn't comprehend the danger of their flirtations. She still did not think eloping was as bad as all that, you still married in the end, but she knew her sisters would disagree and did not see the romanticism in it. It struck Kitty how confusing the rules of society were; Jane & Lizzy purported that what Lydia did was wrong, however if it was so wrong why had Mama been so enthusiastic about the wedding? Shouldn't Lydia have gone down in their mother's estimation and not up? Mama always praised Lydia's behavior referring to her as 'lively' and 'spirited". It all left Kitty in a state of irritation, for how could she ever be considered proper when such contradictions of behavior were all around her?

* * *

 **October 13th, _Longbourne  
_**

"Oh, when do you expect Mr. Darcy return to us Mr. Bingley?' asked Mrs. Bennet. Poor Charles Bingley was forced to turn away from staring at his beloved to answer Mrs. Bennet. "I'm sure I don't know what he means by going away just after proposing to Lizzy."

"Oh, mama you know had to go to town to have his solicitor drawing up the marriage settlements. He shall be back soon." soothed Elizabeth.

"Miss Elizabeth is right ma'am. Darcy is quite eager to be married as soon as possible, I expect he will be back tomorrow if everything goes well." said Mr. Bingley.

"Shouldn't we be going to London soon?" Kitty interjected. "Jane & Lizzy need to shop for their trousseaus and London is ever so diverting."

"Oh, dear, Kitty you are right! There is so much to do, two weddings!" Mrs. Bennet exclaimed. "Oh, my nerves!" Mrs. Bennet then proceeded to run from the room calling for Hill as Jane and Lizzy blushed in embarrassment at their mother's behavior. Kitty didn't see the point in being embarrassed as Mama always acted this . Bingley loved Jane and had proposed while being quite familiar with their mother's eccentricities- surely her nerves would not run him off now!

"Poor mama, she is so flustered by all this. I wish we could make it easier on her." Jane said, ever the sweetest of them. "It is overwhelming to have two weddings so close together."

"Why don't you just share?" Kitty said. "You and Lizzy have always liked to do things together and and Mr. Bingley are good friends." She waited for them to scoff at her.

'Oh, Kitty, that is brilliant!" cried Elizabeth.

"It is?" Kitty replied. Lizzy had never referred to her in such a manner before and she felt the compliment deeply.

"As long as everyone approves of course. I would hate to take away from your wedding, Jane, Mr. Bingley." Lizzy said.

"Oh, it sounds perfect. I would love to get married beside you Lizzy. Oh, Charles do you approve?" Jane said, turning to her fiancee.

"It sounds smashing!" Bingley declared. "I'm sure Darcy would approve and surely it'll be less nerve wracking with another fellow up there."

The idea was approved of and all decided that as soon as the had Mr. Darcy's agreement they would inform Mr & Mrs. Bennet of the change in plans.

 **October 13th, London, Matlock Residence**

"What were you thinking Darcy?" said the Earl. The Earl of Matlock was Mr. Darcy's Uncle on his mother's side and brother of Lady Catherine DeBourgh. While the Earl was not as controlling or as vicious as Lady Catherine, he was not inclined to be happy about what he considered an unequal marriage.

"I was thinking I would marry the woman I love." Darcy replied. "Miss Elizabeth may not have a large dowry, but she is a woman of sense, style, and great intelligence. She is a gentleman's daughter." Darcy said in a tone that brooked no argument as he sipped his drink. His uncle did not look happy at this reply.

"See reason man. What about Georgiana? You'll be lowering her prospects if you marry this country girl."

"I would hardly allow Georgiana to marry a man so weak as to think less of her because her sister in law's family is not as wealthy as some. Elizabeth is everything I could want in a wife and Georgiana approves of her as well. You shall not dissuade me, Uncle. It does not matter as we are already engaged."

"It has not been put in the papers yet. I'm sure the girl could be persuaded to free you if given the proper incentive."

"ENOUGH!" Darcy slammed his tumbler on the table. "The announcement will be in the paper tomorrow and even if it were not I would still marry Elizabeth Bennet. Uncle, please do not follow the path of your sister for you will not win this argument. I love my fiancee and she I. We will marry and you should start getting used to it."

Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam watched the display before him in both amusement and awe. His father was a stickler for decorum and the distinction of class, watching him attempt to persuade Darcy to leave Miss Bennet was quite the show. Richard was somewhat jealous of Darcy; the man was free to do as he liked, he could buck off conventions and marry where he liked. Though Richard's father and Lady Catherine would kick up a fuss, they could do nothing to prevent Darcy's marriage. The man was independently wealthy and could afford a penniless wife and Elizabeth was a clever woman who could surely handle any rudeness from the society elite.

"Father, I have met Miss Elizabeth and she is a fine young woman. She will not embarrass the family and Darcy's mood improves considerably in her presence. The marriage will be doing us all a favor! Hell, Darcy might actually become social with her about." said the Colonel with smile.

"Your Aunt made her out to be fortune hunter." grumbled the Earl.

"You know as well as I that Aunt Catherine's motives are not without selfishness. We all are well aware of the state of Rosings finances and our Aunt's desperation for Darcy to marry Anne." Richard stated. "Lady Catherine's excessive decorating and mismanagement has left the estate in a poor position, even with Darcy and I going over the books each year it does very little. She always overspends the budget we set for her. Anne is in poor health, as you know, and unlikely to conceive children. No man wants a barren wife."

The Earl downed his drink and released a heavy sigh. "I apologize Darcy, I shall endeavor to greet your bride with civility. However, you must know that society will be scrutinizing this girl. You are disappointing many rich young ladies and their families and they shall no doubt be vicious in their criticism of your bride. I shall ask your Aunt to assist her in navigating society, but you need to make clear what she'll be stepping into."

"Thank you, Uncle. Your support will be most welcome." Darcy replied.

"Richard, make sure he accurately represents the situation the poor girl will be stepping into. A man in love is an idiot and neither can afford to be blind to the consequences." That said the Earl left the two cousins and went in search of his wife.

"I am grateful Richard of your support." said Darcy. "I know it cannot be easy."

"How so? I'll soon be off battling the likes of Boneparte I can hardly afford to be squeamish about confronting my own father." Richard joked.

Richard Fitzwilliam was a man of easy manners and a playful disposition. However, underneath his jovial nature lay a soldier and in the right circumstance Richard Fitzwilliam was a clever man and when properly provoke could be quite vicious. Wickham had been lucky that Darcy was the one to uncover his plot to seduce Georgiana, for had Richard been the one to happen upon them it is doubtful the man would still walk the Earth.

"No, I meant because of your feelings for Elizabeth." Darcy said, looking away from his cousin. Richard looked at Darcy as though he'd grown another head.

"What? I barely know Miss Bennet, what is this nonsense?"

"Do not play with me Richard. You talked to her about marriage, claiming that you could not afford her and implied if she had fortune you would marry her." Darcy said, glaring at his cousin.

"Horse shit," growled Richard. "I have no interest in marrying your Miss Bennet. " Richard said. "I did everything in my power to encourage Miss Bennet to think highly of you. I talked of you more than anything else. Where did you ever get the impression that I desired Miss Bennet?"

"She said you spoke to her of marriage. Implying that were it not for the money, you would've be inclined to offer for her." Darcy accused. Richard groaned in annoyance.

"We were actually speaking of you delaying our leaving Rosings. Miss Elizabeth brought up it as ' you doing as you like and others having to accommodate you since you were enabled by a great fortune. I commented that as a second son I did not have as much freedom. " explained Richard. "She laughed at me and teased that a second son of an Earl surely suffered very little and it lead to my assertion that as a second son I could not marry without some attention to money. If Miss Elizabeth gathered a meaning that I did not intend, I apologize."

"So you did not want to marry my Lizzy?" asked Darcy, a hopeful smile.

"No, I shall not be pining after your wife, Darcy." Richard replied with a lazy smile. "You're future wife is a lovely lady, but I have no desire to steal her away."

"Good. I'd hate to have to kill you." said Darcy with a smile.

"I'd hate to have to disabuse of the notion you could."

Assured of his cousin's platonic feelings for his betrothed, Mr. Darcy asked the Colonel to stand up for him at the wedding. His request was met with enthusiastic agreement and a plan followed that the Colonel would return to Hertfordshire with his cousin. Darcy wrote to Bingley directly, requesting permission for the Colonel to stay at Netherfield with them and to advise him of their coming. Richard was happy at the prospect of good company and the pleasures the country had to offer. He was looking forward to the fresh air, shooting, pleasant morning rides, and quiet before he was sent to the battlefield.

* * *

 **October 15th, Netherfield Park**

"Oh, Colonel Fitzwilliam, what a delight to see you again!" cried Miss Bingley. "It is so nice to have such genteel company. I fear you'll find little in the way of fine society here in Hertfordshire, Colonel. Present company excluded of course."

Colonel Fitzwilliam's expectations of a relaxing stay in the country were destined to be dashed. Miss Bingley, though disappointed by Darcy's engagement, was not one to idle. She was determined not to wallow. The Colonel, though a second son, was still the son of an Earl and could raise her in society's eyes. Caroline had a sufficient dowry to tempt such a man and was determined to have him now that Pemberly was out of her reach. She took great comfort that only two Bennet girls were left at home, one too plain and the other too silly to possibly tempt the Colonel.

"Miss Bingley, Mrs. Hurst, Mr. Hurst" greeted the Colonel with a bow. Miss Bingley's enthusiastic greeting put him on his guard. He had only met Miss Bingley once before, but that had been enough for him to assess her character. She had been polite towards him, but showed little interest in his company beyond his relationship with Darcy. Miss Bingley's disparagement of other young ladies and the distaste and disrespect she showed those she thought below her had fixed her as an unpleasant, but wealthy, shrew in the Colonel's mind. Despite her former disinterest, it now seemed that she might be setting her cap at him!

"You must be exhausted from your journey. I've had rooms prepared for you both and I've planned quite the dinner to welcome you to Netherfield." Caroline said.

"Thank you Miss Bingley," said Mr. Darcy, " However, I fear we cannot join you for dinner this evening. We are engaged to dine with the Bennets."

Richard breathed a subtle sigh of relief. He did not think he could bear the fawning of Caroline Bingley after a day of travel. Though he did not know her well he had taken great amusement in Darcy's tales of her antics, however he did not think to experience it himself would be quite so humorous.

"Dinner...with the Bennets? But you've just arrived!" Caroline cried. "Surely you shall not wish to go out for dinner! I am sure the Bennets would understand if you chose to reschedule."

"Oh, it is no imposition at all. I admit I am eager to meet the will soon be family after all." said the Colonel. "I have met Miss Elizabeth and she is delightful. I look forward to teasing her and my cousin mercilessly."

Both Mr. Darcy and Miss Bingley looked alarmed at this pronouncement.

* * *

 **** Longbourne, later that day**

Kitty sat at the table, wringing her hands in her lap and staring down at her soup bowl. Mr. Bingley and Mr. Darcy had taken places next to Jane and Lizzy for dinner instead of on either side of her mother like they should. A breech in propriety Kitty was sure she would be punished for had she committed it. Instead Colonel Fitzwilliam was placed next to her mother and Kitty was seated on his other side.

The Colonel was not dressed in his military finery, but instead wore a green waistcoat, but it did not detract from his appearance. He looked to be of the same age as , but with a less severe countenance. The Honorable Colonel Fitzwilliam did not possess the classically handsome features of his cousin, but Kitty found him pleasant to look at, especially when he smiled. The man's attractiveness did nothing to help Kitty's current predicament.

When her father had found out Mr. Darcy's cousin was a Colonel in the regulars he had instantly been concerned. Lizzy had told him the Colonel was a gentleman and very respectable, but that did not stop their father from taking Kitty aside earlier in the day.

"Kitty I expect you to be on your best behavior. You may be a silly ignorant girl, but I shall not have you acting like one tonight. There shall be no losing your head over a Redcoat at dinner. If you disappoint me you'll be sent from the table." Her father had never seemed so serious. Kitty had agreed with his terms immediately and was determined to act sensibly throughout dinner.

 _Stupid Lydia. She's made it so I cannot even speak at dinner or Papa will accuse me of flirting._

Kitty didn't want to make a fool of herself in front of the Colonel. She didn't know what her father would consider appropriate conversation and she dreaded being sent away from the table. Instead of talking like she usually did she sat staring at cutlery, afraid of risking her father's displeasure. _He must think me a simpleton._

Their mother was calling across the table to Mr. Bingley and Jane. Asking questions about the wedding and then trying to engage Mr. Darcy about his trip to town. Kitty peeked over at The Colonel. He was leaning back in his chair, looking over Kitty and Elizabeth, to stare at Mr. Darcy. He had an wickedly amused smile on his face. Kitty followed the Colonel's gaze and noticed that Mr. Darcy's eye seemed to be twitching and he was casting annoyed looks at the Colonel. Elizabeth, she noticed, had placed her hand gently on Mr. Darcy's arm. Kitty watched until she noticed the Colonel was looking at her. She quickly went back to staring at her plate.

 _"_ Miss Catherine," the Colonel said, startling Kitty. "Has the table done something to offend you? Please let me know if I must defend you against the cutlery."

Kitty looked up at the Colonel instantly. He was looking at her with a very serious expression. _I... I must not giggle._ She bit her lip, trying to hold back a laugh.

"I thank you Colonel, but it is not the cutlery that offends. It is the plates."

"Ah, yes the plates! They are known to be quite the cads." The Colonel smiled at her and Kitty felt her cheeks warm. _Oh, how am I ever going to get through this dinner without being silly, with this man as a companion!_ She attempted to straighten herself and rid the smile from her lips.

"I hope I have not offended you Miss Catherine. You are so quiet." he said. Kitty hated her father in this moment. The Colonel was perfectly amiable dinner companion, but she felt like she had to watch every move and word she said. _He must think me either a very rude person or hat I dislike him!_

"No, no you have not offended me Colonel. It's just..." Kitty didn't know what to say. She knew she couldn't just blurt out what Lydia had done, though its possible the Colonel already knew. "It's just... recent events have lead me to worry about acting improperly. I don't want to say anything that could offend and now I'm afraid to say anything at all." Kitty felt her cheeks go red in embarrassment. _At least I did not tell him that Papa threatened to send me from the table._

"Ah,that explains it. I pray do not worry Miss Catherine, I shall keep us to acceptable dinner topics. Now, pray why don't you tell me about the wilds of Hertfordshire. This is my first time in this part of the country and I know very little about it." Kitty smiled. Fears alleviated by his kind manner she began to relate the Colonel the best walking paths around the county, which shops to frequent in Meryton, and the principle families of the area. The Colonel asked questions and was kind and attentive toward Kitty until he was obliged to make conversation with Mrs. Bennet, who had finally released Mr. Darcy and Mr. Bingley from wedding conversation.

"You are doing well Kitty" Elizabeth whispered in her ear from her opposite side. "Father will have no reason to scold you."

""Thank you. I was so nervous at the start."

"Do not worry, I shall not relay to Papa the conversation about the insurrection of the dinnerware." Lizzy said with an impish smile. Kitty smiled in return.

"And I shall not relay that you've had your hand on Mr. Darcy's arm or thigh all through dinner." Kitty whispered back. Elizabeth turned red.

"Do not underestimate the saucers Miss Elizabeth! They are as nefarious as Boneparte." the Colonel declared from Kitty's other side. He had apparently escaped Mrs. Bennet for the time being. "I think she is taking this uprising too lightly, Miss Catherine."

Kitty brought her napkin to her lips, attempting to hid a smile. "My sister has been known to underestimate her enemies, Colonel. She shall rue the day she did not listen to us."

"I think your both quite mad." Elizabeth laughed, her cheeks still blushing from Kitty's earlier comment.

* * *

Dinner had been an interesting affair. Richard had been seated next to Mrs. Bennet, Darcy and Bingley had seated themselves next to their ladies and so the place of honor fell to him. When he'd first arrived at Longbourne he'd received Mrs. Bennet's undivided attention and worried he would be listening to singing the praises of Darcy and Bingley for the whole of dinner. It was one of the reasons he had decided to tease Miss Catherine. The poor girl had been staring at the table since they sat down, but he'd seen her conversing with her sisters early and knew she wasn't wholly stupid. His silly remark had done the trick in bringing out of her shell and he could see she had a sense of humor. It was unfortunate she seemed to bearing the consequence of her younger sisters actions. Mr. Bennet made that apparent after dinner.

"I hope my wife and younger daughter's company was not too taxing on you Colonel." Mr. Bennet remarked. Richard smiled to conceal his unease at the comment. "Miss Catherine was a lovely dinner companion. I have been advised of the best places to ride and ideal paths of Hertfordshire. Mrs. Bennet was very complimentary and she sets a fine table, indeed, sir."

"Good, good," Mr. Bennet said "She can be a silly girl, but she does occasionally act in decent manner. We should be grateful you did not show up in your red coat."

 _Darcy did not exaggerate when it came to Mr. Bennet's disregard for his wife and daughters. He seems an alright fellow, but to disparage the poor girl in front of a near stranger seems unusually cruel._

 _"_ I assure you sir, Miss Catherine has shown herself as a respectable young lady this evening. I doubt my regimentals would have altered this." Richard said. He felt the urge to defend Miss Catherine in this. She had done nothing this evening to warrant such remarks. He knew it was not his place to reprimand another for the treatment of his own family, but he would do what he could.

"You think that if you like, Colonel."

The conversation then turned away from Mr. Bennet's daughter and towards shooting. The Colonel set aside the oddities of Mr. Bennet and engaged himself in the discussion taking place.

* * *

In the drawing room Kitty sat with Lizzy and Jane to seek their advice. Her sisters were both held up as examples of how she should be acting, according to their father, and needed their reassurance. Kitty did not think she could handle any more restrictions.

"Lizzy do you truly think I did well?" Kitty asked. "I... I'm so confused about what Papa wants from me. Am I to restrict myself to comments on the weather and other dull topics when in company?" Kitty felt annoyance with her father and hated that she even had to have this discussion. _It's not fair! Lizzy insulted Mr. Darcy all over Meryton last Fall and Papa did not check her behavior. Why is it always me?_

"Kitty you did fine. Do not act so peevish. Just keep to proper conversation and you shall be fine. You are allowed to talk of other things, you just much be conscious you remain within the lines of propriety." Lizzy said.

"Do not worry Kitty. I am sure you will not misstep. You did so well at dinner. " Jane said. Jane was sweet in her reassurances and Kitty decided following her lead might be the best approach. It was not long after this conversation that the Gentleman joined them.

The evening passed pleasantly enough for Kitty, or at the very least she had done nothing that would bring about her father's censure. She tried to model her behavior after Jane's, but this lead her to not saying much and smiling too often. Tea was served and Mary played while Mrs. Bennet pulled Jane and into talking about wedding flowers. Mr. Darcy and her father were discussing new farming techniques by the mantle. At the moment Kitty had become party to a discussion about poetry with Elizabeth and Colonel Fitzwilliam. Well, she was listening to the conversation, but felt she had little to contribute. Kitty was not as well read as her older sister, who had been given access to their Father's library whenever she wished. Kitty enjoyed novels and knew some poetry, but she could not speak on the topic with any authority.

"It is strange to me to hold a man in esteem for his art when his person is so wanting." commented the Colonel. Kitty had not been paying great attention to the conversation. The pair had been speaking about some new work of poetry that Kitty had not heard of.

"I know nothing of Lord Byron, himself and can only comment upon his work. I enjoyed what I've read thus far." Elizabeth stated.

"His art may be commended and even I shall admit to appreciating _Childe Harold's Pilgrimage_ , however I cannot say I approve of him."

"Are we then to judge art based upon the artist's personal lives? Are we to dismiss art of the past simply because we no longer approve of their ways?"

"I can praise talent and still dislike a person in other aspects. Lord Byron writes with great feeling and skill, however in his ways he proves wanting. I can approve and disapprove him at the same time. I've read his work, but I shall not recommend it. I do not like to profess approval of a person if they do not deserved it." claimed the Colonel. Kitty decided this might be an opportune time to join the conversation.

"You are a harsh critic, Colonel Fitzwilliam." said Elizabeth.

"Sister, are you declaring that propriety and want of character may be put aside if talent is present?" Kitty piped in.

"No, of course not. I'm merely saying that a work's merit should be judged by itself and not discarded simply because we may disapprove of its creator."

"Then if I were a great painter or songstress, could uncouth behavior be overlooked? Would society ignore my missteps because I excel in another area?" Kitty asked. She was astonished that Elizabeth could take such a view, as she was the most disapproving of Lydia and Kitty's behavior in the past.

"Certainly not. I would still be offended by poor behavior, but I could also not deny it if someone possessed true talent."

"Then how can we ever know how to act properly if the rules are so objective?" asked Kitty. "If a young lady monopolizes the instrument, never giving another young lady a chance to exhibit it is considered improper? " Kitty asked.

"It would be considered quite rude," said Elizabeth

"Well, what if the young lady in question was extremely talented?"

"It would still be rude." said Elizabeth.

"Yes, but if the lady was a an amazing musician would you think it likely she would still receive high praise for her performances afterward?"

"Yes. Those listening would feel compelled to give praise at the very least clap, as they would any young lady who performed." said the Colonel. Lizzy went quiet and simply observed the conversation. She could admit it was quite fascinating to see this side of Kitty. She was framing the discussion as though in reference to manners in general, but it was clear it was for her own sake.

"If a person acts wrongly, but still receives praise, what incentive is there to correct their behavior?" Kitty asked. She truly wanted to know. At the moment they spoke of hypothetical songstresses, but really Kitty was speaking of Lydia. Lydia was praised and rewarded for what her elder sisters and Father claimed was improper behavior. It did not make sense and Kitty needed some type of answer.

"Miss Catherine I believe you are speaking of a universal truth that we all must learn in life." said the Colonel. Kitty looked at him, staring intently into his eyes and waiting for the Honorable Colonel Fitzwilliam to bring her the answer she so desperately needed.

"Life, Miss Catherine Bennet, is not fair." he stated. Kitty was dumbfounded.

"That's it?" she sputtered.

"That's it. It has always been so and always will be." he said. His smile was gentle, though his words seemed harsh. "We live in an imperfect world and all we can do is try to make our way in it. A talented, and might I say rich or well connected, individual will always have their faults overlooked and their strengths praised."

"It really isn't fair." Kitty said. She had always known this to be the truth, but she had hoped for a better answer. She hoped for something sensible.

"No it's not." said the Colonel. "Do not morn for what you cannot change Miss Catherine. I learned long ago agonizing over the unfairness of things will make one miserable. It is better for find your own path and take happiness where you can find it."

Kitty looked down, nibbling her lip in thought. _Is that all there is? Am I to just accept the unfairness of it all and just move on?_

"Now all this talk of music makes me long for a song. Miss Bennet, Miss Catherine would either of you be willing to oblige?" the Colonel asked.

The rest of the evening had gone as well as was to be expected. Despite the Colonel' request it was Mary Bennet who continued to perform that night. Luckily Mary did not attempt to sing and merely played a Haydn sonatas, much to her sisters relief. Poor Mary had technical skill, but played with so little emotion it came off as routine. However, it passed the time and was enjoyed so that when the Gentlemen left that evening they had no complaints.


End file.
